Most of the time I am so completely content in Seattle and in my life and other times I fall into the past, my childhood, East Lansing, or Ann Arbor so hard it nearly makes me want to tear up. You never know when to expect it and you never really know why it happens. I think sometimes I would like to just be a 10 year old stuck in time.
I think particularly this time of year sparks certain heartwarming memories for me. I see the back to school ads and really want to go shopping for stuff. I want to pick out my new folders, new binders, new backpack and lunch box. I want to go clothes shopping with my Mom, and even if it is 80 degrees out, put on the new jeans I just got because I am so excited for them. I want to attend the football game before school even begins, where you finally get to catch up with all of those familiar faces who you haven’t really seen for 3 months. I want to smell the leaves changing and feel the cooler fall temperatures. I want to go get a hot apple cider from Beaners. I want someone to drink tea with after dinner.
I want to be there for my mom’s birthday and for mine and Grandma’s birthday. I want to blow out candles and open presents and let Grandma pick out the meal we have. I want Mom to burn her cinnamon apple candles and roast pumpkin seeds. I want Dad to help us carve the pumpkins with the itty bitty little pumpkin tools and traceable designs. I want to pose in my costume with my brother by our spooky pumpkins and hanging witch who laughs and the bat that flies around like a children’s mobile. I want my mom to make me pork chops sautéed with apples and onions. I want to go with the Girl Scouts pumpkin picking and apple picking. I want my mom to steal my Halloween candy and have to hide it in my sock drawer (always my sock drawer). I want to have to throw away the uneaten remains of my Halloween candy from last year to make room for the new candy.
I want to play H.O.R.S.E. on the basketball goal outside. I want to go for walks around the block. I want Coco to follow us half way around. I want to come home from school and smell something delicious cooking in the Crockpot.
I want to go to a University of Michigan football game and stand and cheer in the student section. I want to cheer “It’s Great to Be a Michigan Wolverine” down Hoover St. after our win. I want to have the first day of class. I want my dad to bake me his best in the world chocolate chip cookies.
I want a bowl of beef vegetable soup and homemade bread from my Grandma. I want to walk to A&W with the Gpas for dinner and then come back and play cards before watching a movie and then sharing the small bed with Grandma. I want to bake something with Grandma. I want some of her homemade jam. I want to grill out with the family with only a few opportunities in the year left. I want to prepare the veggies, have Dad grill, and have Mom round out the meal with drinks, music, and whatever other side we have. I want to have to wait for my brother to get out of the shower. I want to eat out on the deck. I want to mow the lawn. I want to catch a lightning bug and put it in a jar. I want a mosquito bite. I want a thunderstorm.
I want all of these things and I want them now.