I did not predict this to happen to the extreme it did over the Christmas holidays, I even warned Bryan it could happen, and it happened. I have the minor case of the homesick blues. I am strongly affected by those around me; their emotions, their habits, their ideals, etc. When I see people enjoying the company of their friends and family, I want to have the company of my friends and family. In D.C., staying with Bryan’s loved ones and best friends made me yearn for my loved ones and best friends. It was great to see that human connection and love but it makes me want that too.
I really miss my family. I would have really liked to be able to enjoy the Christmas cheer with MY family. I would have loved to have gone to Christmas Eve service with them, drunk. I would have loved having my mom’s clam chowder. I would have loved opening presents at a painstakingly slow pace at Grandma’s. I would have loved seeing my recipient’s reactions when they opened their gifts from me. I would have loved baking cookies with Grandma. I would have loved drinking cocoa with peppermint schnapps, being made lattes in the early morning, watching Christmas Vacation, opening my stocking, or driving to see the Christmas lights. I would love to go after-Christmas shopping with the girls and watch the football games with the boys. I would love to cook dinner with everyone for “wall of us”.
It’s really not fair that you have to grow up. I would chose to stay a kid forever and always come home.